Some Thoughts About Life |
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Change:
I was thinking about change the other day -- how there are so many different types of change. It begins early, too, when we're
children. Our parents give us constant guidance, ways we need to grow and change. Most are taught to us so we are comfortably
accepted by others and, of course, so we don't appear offensive to society ... and most of those only came up because we got caught
doing the offensive things in the first place:
"Chew with your mouth closed.
"Don't talk with your mouth full."
"Do not touch, show, scratch, or fondle your private parts in public."
"Cover your mouth when you burp, sneeze, or cough."
"Do not fart, pass gas, have a barking spider in public. It's offensive to others."
As we got older, change came about more from within:
We want better grades: we change our study habits.
We have a bad hair day: ask a friend who does their hair: we dump our old hairstylist/barber.
Our friend pushes us down in the playground: we make a new friend.
We say a bad word: get our mouth washed out, and only say it again in private or among friends.
We find we don't attract the opposite sex by teasing, pulling hair, or pushing them down in the playground: we try just being nice to
them.
As adults, change nearly always comes about because we choose to make a change, for whatever reason:
This job sucks ...
This husband/wife sucks ...
This car sucks ...
This coffee, pizza, restaurant sucks ...
This speeding ticket sucks ...
This music, TV station sucks ...
This car, truck, house sucks ...
In our adult lives, the changes we resent most are those pointed out by others, unless we love and respect them and we know they love
and respect us. Nothing is more hurtful than to be told we would be loved only IF we changed. Who wouldn't resent it?
This all naturally brings up the question, "Do we really have to change?" I think the answer lies within a joke I heard years ago: "How
many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?" The answer: "It depends on whether or not the light bulb wants to change."
... and so it is with life.
Awareness: How do we know if we're aware?
For man, the most important thing is life, complete with an outer belief system: opinions, prejudices, educational and cultural training,
and unique family backgrounds -- but all of those are only accidental factors of life. They've become necessary tools for survival and
living within society -- but none of them define who we truly are.
When we strip away all the easy definitions, like job, religion, sex and so on, which only narrowly define "us", who and what are we
really? If we lose our job, will we also lose self? If we convert to another religion, do we as spiritual beings, actually change? If we
have a trans-gender operation, do we change our self on the inside, along with how we changed on the outside? It may seem so, if we're
overly attached to these flimsy definitions of who we are. In spite of outside change, something always remains the same. Since our
outsides are so prone to change, doesn't it make sense to look within—to our true self? What are we on the inside? What in the world
are we?
Awareness helps to answer it, although awareness is not an answer, it's actually the biggest question of all. Awareness demands no
belief in anything. Instead, it insists on doubting everything we always took for granted as being true, up to now. Awareness points out
the areas of our lives where faith in our self has been silenced by the rigidity of all of our learned beliefs. Awareness is simply paying
attention to our life as it unfolds, here in this moment and in this world. It's recognizing our true self, before the thinking, opinions,
and beliefs tried to take control. By knowing our true nature, we're able to lessen, or even rid ourselves, of everything that separates
us from our true experience in this lifetime as awakened souls. As we become more intuitive (aware) within our self, with others and the
world, the world and self will eventually begin to act as one, and we'll finally see there isn't a problem, except in our own thinking.
Think of it this way, awareness is like a great intuition with "home" -- the universe. It's knowing, without knowing how you know -- but
you do know. You've finally become aware and you begin to remember where you came from before you came here and even before that.
Awareness is present when you swerve out of the way of a speeding car, without even thinking. Awareness is there when you cry at a
movie, because you feel the suffering of another person. Awareness is there in the flow of your thoughts when you're creating, and
awareness is in the breathing that keeps you alive. Awareness never forgets about us -- it's we who have forgotten to be aware. We
only have to look within to find our awareness -- trying to find awareness or its meaning from outside ourselves would be like, well, like
pouring water into the ocean to make it wet. We have only to wake up and stop sleepwalking through our wonderful reality.
Beautiful Soul: What is beauty anyway?
"Thats beautiful!" This is what we say or think when we see the sun rise or set over the ocean, see a spectacular view, or a good-
looking man or woman. But what we should ask is, where does the appreciation of that beauty originate? Where does our ability to
understand beauty come from? It's right there, in our own consciousness.
The very essence of who and what we are is beauty. The true essence of beauty cannot be found in the sunrise or sunset, a face, or a
view. Those only awaken the essence of beauty within our own spirit. It's not only something we sense within ourselves, but it emerges
in our character as virtue, and in our life as care. And what is virtue, anyway, but love in action?
Can beauty be defined with regard to people? I believe it can. There are two types, actually -- there's physical beauty and spiritual
beauty. Physical beauty is subjective -- we all want to like what we see in our mirror. That kind of beauty can be bought through plastic
surgery, cosmetics, clothes and so on, if you have the money. Physical attractiveness is appealing to the senses, but it's a fake beauty,
one based on society's superficial standards.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look and feel our best. Everyone does something for
beauty ... everyone. But physical beauty isn't true beauty. Spiritual beauty is true beauty, because it comes from within the heart and
soul of a person. When someone has a beautiful soul, their very presence can be sensed by others.
Spiritual beauty comes through awareness and from knowing there's a higher power who gives us the strength and confidence we need to
live the best life we can. With it comes peace, confidence, and inner happiness. Spiritual beauty radiates an inner glow that others are
instinctively drawn to because they also sense and can feel the awareness and beauty that's there.
Feeling this good, spiritually, has other benefits, as well. It makes us want to take care of ourselves and our health, which, in turn, is
good for our overall physical appearance. We gain inner balance by knowing who we are, and knowing we are beautiful, spiritually. As a
result, we attract spiritual people into our lives, people who love the totality of us -- our mind, our body and our soul.
The next time you say, "That's beautiful!" Remember, you speak of yourself, and it is you who is beautiful. You always were. You always
will be. Now that's beauty ...
Done With Love? How can anyone be done with love?
The other day I was in a checkout lane at the grocery. I was in no particular hurry, and I found myself engrossed in a conversation
between two women in line behind me. They were about my age and arguing about love. One woman must have had a terrible experience,
because she said, "I am dee-ohh-enn-eee, DONE with love!" Then she said, "I'm afraid of love."
The other woman seemed to have it more together, because what she said went something like this: "What do you mean you're done?
What are you, stupid? You can't be done with love ... and you're not afraid of love. You're afraid of not being loved."
The first woman listened and then shook her head, disagreeing. Her face got red and she started to say something, but she was cut off
by the other woman. "You have to be in love so you won't be by yourself. Ya get it? Naw, you're not afraid of love, you're just angry at
how things turned out. You gotta give it some time." Then she gave the fearful woman a hug.
I wish I could tell you how the conversation turned out, but it was my turn with the cashier. By the time I paid and loaded the plastic
bags into my cart, the two women had stopped arguing and were laughing, while cashier rang up their items. But it made me think: how
can anyone be done with love? We are love. It surrounds us and it runs through us. We came from love into this life to have a human
experience. To turn our backs on love would be to deny our very nature. To be afraid of love would be to lose all sense of being alive and,
if we can't love, then why have we even been put here? Being afraid of love is like being afraid of ... breathing. It's not something to be
afraid of. Love is who and what we are and it's as natural as breathing.
Both of the women were partly right. In a loving relationship, love feels wonderful. In in a non-loving relationship, love feels awful. If
it's abusive, I can see how one might be afraid of love, but a better way to say it is, a non-loving or abusive relationship makes us
afraid to trust in love again. That makes more sense to me.
Love is so much more than verses on a valentine or the romance we see in a movie. Love is what we are and where we came from. Like
anything of value, love just ... is. When love finds us in a relationship, we know what we have is the real deal -- we realize it's the most
important thing in our lives and it's worth working at to keep it alive. It's both, give and take. It's a feeling of being "home" when you
embrace. Love is mysterious and magical and the greatest treasure in the Universe.
Life Isn't Always Fair:
I really enjoyed my coffee this morning. The bold, almost intoxicating, aroma drifted up and combined with the even more delicious taste
and it made me smile. Will someone please tell me, why is it that most mornings, it tastes good and wakes me up, but some days, like this
morning, it tastes so much better? Same coffee, same pot, yet it tastes so much better.
I got to thinking, that's the way it is with most things ... nothing is always really good or really bad. All through life, we're bombarded
with beginnings, middles, and the inevitable endings -- some happy, some sad, some a mixture of a lot or a little. It isn't really fair, but
as we all know, nothing lasts forever, and no one ever said life has to be fair. I remember a quote I read once and I've never forgotten
it.
"Life is not always fair. You can even get a splinter sliding down a rainbow." ~Cherralea Morgen
I love that quote. It puts things in perspective. I could just as easily apply that reasoning to my coffee this morning. As great as it
tasted, if I had suddenly spilled it, it would definitely have burned ...
It all neatly translates into having to take a little bit of bad with the good in nearly everything. Although I walked away from two
marriages where that little factoid was seriously flawed. Gasoline and fire DO NOT mix and, as everyone knows, pouring abuse into the
mixture and stirring it up only fuels the flame. When you do that, the little bit of good with the whole lot of bad doesn't work at all.
Thank God my Mama understood: "Honey, you have to do what's right for you, no matter what anyone else says. It’s your life -- but get
the hell out!" (Thank you, Mama).
... back to my coffee ... mmmmm good.
"May you always see the world through the eyes of a child." ~CJ Heck |
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